Why It’s A Good Thing To Be Single Over The Holidays
One reason – Being single over the holidays means more action for you!
Just think about it…
For the average guy, Christmas and the surrounding festivities are all about presents, family and partying. We buy our loved ones lots of lovely gifts, we spend time with our families (mom, dad, siblings etc) and go out with our buddies and celebrate another year of not being dead.
For a woman, family means husband and babies, and there’s only going to be one way she’s gonna get that.
If you’ve ever seen The Mentalist, you’ll have seen the one where he tells his colleague that you can seduce any woman with ‘love and affection’ or the promises thereof. While that’s not strictly true, he’s got a good point. What he should have said was ‘make sure you have leverage and know how to use it.’
A lonely woman is a horrible thing to waste.
Christmas and the surrounding weeks can be very lonely times for people. It’s such a family oriented time, if you don’t have the requisite family, you may feel a little disenfranchised. I’ve been alone over Christmas, living in foreign countries, and there’s only 1 solution. Hit a bar!
Bars are packed at this time of year, and little stirs the mothering instinct in a woman more than a man who is without kith and kin over the holiday period.
So. You have 2 pieces of leverage…
- She’s lonely
- She feels bad because she thinks that you are lonely
This isn’t the place to tell you how to start a conversation with a woman, that’s covered elsewhere, but we’ll assume you have the courage of a grown man and can initiate dialogue with a woman. One of the first things you want to know is ‘what are your plans for Christmas?’ Perfectly reasonable question. Non-threatening. No alarm bells raised.
- She’s spending it with friends. Excellent. You are much more exciting than her friends. Make a Christmas date.
- She’s spending it with family. Fucksticks, but what is she doing on New Years? If she’s spending that with family too, find another woman pronto.
Advantages of Christmas Dates…
- They’re easy to convert into ‘why don’t we go back to my place for (insert traditional Christmas food here)’
- You can get away with buying her a racy gift. Red hold-up stockings are an excellent idea. They’re Christmassy and they’ll leave her in no doubt as to your intentions. Also, they’re cheap. Don’t get carried away with spending lots of money on what may well be a short-term shagfest.
- You have the loneliness leverage, encouraging affection.
- It’s the season of generosity.
On the 23rd of December, go to your local hotspot, and get Christmas Cracking (if you don’t understand the slang, it means hit on lots of women). The winner is the one who scores on Christmas and New Year’s Eve!
Ho Ho Ho
Read MoreWhat To Wear On A First Date
I know that people panic about what to wear on a first date and for good reason.
Women judge you by all sorts of weird things, but there are a couple you can definitely do something about. Your clothing is one of them.
As outfits go, until you get to know a women well, stick with 2 things:
- A suit
- Jeans and a shirt (either a t-shirt, nothing too tight, or a collared button down shirt, please avoid polo shirts)
As a man, when you first meet a woman, it’s face, breasts, legs. When a woman meets you, it’s face, hair, shoes, clothing, crotch.
Shoes mean a LOT to a woman. Make sure your shoes are always clean. If they are smart shoes, ensure they are polished, and get into the habit of not scuffing your feet as you walk.
With jeans, wear some nice boots, not ones with heels or cowboy boots, and don’t tuck your fucking jeans in your boots. If you can avoid wearing sneakers please do so, unless your first date is tennis. You can get some fantastic casual boots that look very rugged.
A suit will never be out of fashion. Ensure your jacket is not too long and don’t button it. Have a cleaned, IRONED, shirt and only wear a waistcoat if you are trying to be super smart.
What a woman wears to a date tells you a lot about her and what she may be expecting from the date. If at all possible, agree on the style of dress. You don’t want to turn up in a suit, with her wearing a scruffy t-shirt and jeans. Even worse, finding out you’re meeting in a cocktail bar and you come dressed in leisure wear.
Above all, clean and well maintained is the look you want to achieve.
Too groomed and she’ll think you’re gay at worst, vain at best.
Not groomed enough and she’ll be ashamed to be seen with you. Not a promising start.
If you’re still not sure what to wear on a first date think about buying a guide on how to look your best.
Read MoreShould You Get Back With An Ex?
Now, I don’t mean get back with an ex who has dumped you. You should NEVER do that. She’ll just dump you again in the future.
Disastrous!
Other than that, there are 2 other scenarios I can foresee:
- You had a brief fling with someone perfectly nice but it just fizzled out for some random reason
- You broke up with someone who has now come back and asked for another chance.
Let’s tackle those 1 at a time.
It often happens that you meet someone you quite like, maybe you only see them a few times but you get caught up with someone else, or are just too busy for any sort of relationship. You then see them again and realise that this is the one that got away. I can’t see anything wrong with pursuing that avenue at all.
Now, the second type of ex is a different kettle of fish.
You dumped her for a reason didn’t you?
Has that reason gone away?
Here are some reasons that may have gone away:
- You broke up with her because she had small breasts or was too fat. She may have had a boob-job or lost weight and stopped eating cakes.
- She was married. She may well have got divorced.
All very well and good.
Now here are the things that just don’t go away:
- She was controlling. Why would you risk getting back into all that? You should be doing everything you can to avoid a controlling woman.
- She was jealous. She hasn’t stopped being jealous, no matter what she says. But you won’t find out until it’s too late!
- She was aggressive or violent. Leopards. Spots. This is an utter no-win for a man. You can’t fight back, so you just gotta take a beating. Nope. Stay well away.
- She was lousy in bed.
- She wasn’t very pretty.
- She was annoying.
None of these things have changed. Our minds instinctively block out bad things. Unless she was absolutely psychotic and put sugar in your gastank you might consider giving her another chance because you’re horny, or lonely, which you shouldn’t be if you’re paying attention to this website.
Resist the temptation.
Unless you’re Amish there are an unlimited amount of women out there. If you’ve exhausted all the possibilities in your area, well done, high five, now move to a big city.
Go to BeNaughty immediately, sign up for free, and start meeting some women who you don’t know. They might all be crazy, but you won’t know that for at least a week, so go have some fun and forget about your ex.
So my advice is, never get back with an ex for more than a night, and even that’s pushing it.
If you absolutely have to get back with an ex, don’t say I didn’t warn you and take the advice of someone who knows a bit about the subject.
Read MoreHow Do You Know When It’s Time To End It
If you’re dating women, and not yet looking to settle down, marry and have a family, you probably won’t want a relationship that lasts too long. After all, you want to sow your wild oats and experience all that life has to offer. My advice here is nothing to do with a long-term relationship and does not apply.
You may well meet the woman you believe is the ‘one’, but before that you won’t want to get too bogged down, and my advice is – If you’re not 100% sure after a couple of weeks, she’s not the ‘one’.
Assuming you want to have the maximum amount of fun with the maximum amount of women, here’s when you know it’s going downhill…
- The sex starts to dry up – Uh-Oh! This is the first indicator. Women are often hotter than a hot thing at the start of a relationship but soon start to get a bit colder once they’ve got you in their clutches. Surprise, surprise, women use sex as a weapon. Don’t let them. The first time she cock-blocks you for no genuine reason (periods, illness, you are enough of a gentleman to know what’s genuine), accept but talk to her about it. Be honest. Unless she has a good explanation, don’t arrange anything for a few days and she’ll either start with the good stuff again or she’ll sulk like a little girl. If she sulks just dump her for good, you don’t need that.
- She becomes less tolerant. At the start she won’t mind if you smoke, if you drink, if you snore, if you play Starcraft 2 until all hours of the morning, but after a while she will become less tolerant of this. Now, in a long-term relationship, I say ‘fair enough’ she’ll want you to become more serious, buckle down and earn money and create a home. In anything other than that, it’s not acceptable. Women probably look at every relationship as a potential life match, no matter how honest you are about it she’ll still believe you will change your mind when you realise that you can’t live without her, sigh. When you start noticing that this is happening, again be honest, tell her that she is taking you for granted and that you haven’t changed since you guys got together and would she stop complaining about the things you do. If she starts ranting or acts negatively in any other way, dump her.
Now, from your point of view, other things may also be happening. If you notice that:
- You can’t be bothered to see her
- You keep wanting to see other women instead of her
- You’d rather stay home and watch porn
Then you’re sick of her. It’s time to move on.
Don’t feel bad, unless you’ve lied about your intentions you’ve done nothing wrong. Never stay in a relationship in which you’re not happy and constantly examine yourself to see if you are happy. Remember, you have almost unlimited options, so use them.
Read MoreHow Many Dates Until You Should Make Your Move?
Someone asked me this question in real life recently. I’m going out with this new guy and I really like him, how long should I wait before having sex with him?
This is all down to biology isn’t it?
A man can father as many children as he can have sexual intercourse to fulfilment. A woman, 1 (on average) every 9 months or so.
When I ponder this, I think – This could be my daughter who is wondering the same thing. In that case I would say, ‘wait until you are married, or at least have a ring on your finger’, but sexual mores are what they are. If it was my son asking how long he should wait until he makes his move, I would say, ‘why haven’t you made it already?’
Here’s a true story from years ago…
I met this lovely schoolteacher. She worked at a private school and was extremely pretty in an old fashioned sort of way. She wore long skirts and had the type of long hair you can only get if you never have more than the split-ends removed. She was kind to animals, wanted a family, and I thought she was wonderful.
I was used to less elegant women, so I decided to hold my horses and slow things down. I really could see myself settling down with this lady, with her cottage in the country and outstanding cooking skills.
On our third date she dumped me.
I was on my way home from her cottage and she sent me a text message saying that I obviously had no sexual interest in her and therefore we should call it a day. I was horrified.
Lesson learnt!
In a relationship, no matter how brief, it’s the woman who decides when the jiggy-jiggy takes place. When that will be is dependant on how much power the woman believes she has over the man. If the guy is smitten, she can wait. If he’s aloof, she won’t wait. She won’t want to lose him, especially if he is not that into her. You see, women are used to men fawning over them like lovesick puppies. When they meet a guy who doesn’t pander to her every ridiculous whim, she doesn’t know how to act, and will play her final hand very quickly indeed.
My friends, if you are thinking about when to make a move on your new woman, stop thinking and just act. Make the move and if it’s too soon for her, you’ll get the picture. Obviously don’t try 5 minutes after meeting her, but you’ll learn to gauge the situation after some practice.
Now, here’s where we can take back some of the power. If she spurns your initial advances, don’t become despondent. She has the upper hand, but it won’t last long.
You’ve made your intentions perfectly clear. Now, you will hold back. You will tease her. You will be suggestive. But you won’t keep desperately trying to bang her like a horny teenager. This will make her crazy. Practice until you get the balance right. Very few women will dump you, like I got dumped, for showing no interest as you have made that plain, and she’s waiting for you to make another move so she can display her power again. Hold off for a couple of days and she will be pliant putty in your hands. Turn the tables on her, pretend (make it obvious that you’re pretending) that YOU won’t put out for HER.
For God’s sake, don’t let the joke become old though.
When you do, and you will, manage to get her in the sack don’t ruin it by being a crap lover. I’m a little too squeamish to help with that sort of thing, but you can learn a huge amount about how to satisfy a woman from this book. Be warned, there’s nothing quite as good as actual practice. So get out there, lose the shyness and start meeting some women.
Read MoreWomen Aren’t Robots
I’ve never read any advice on meeting women apart from David D’Angelo’s incredible Double Your Dating. From that I figured out that I wasn’t the only one using those sorts of strategies. I thoroughly recommend this to any man who wants to up his game and be more successful with the opposite sex.
As part of my research for creating this website, I watched a few youtube videos and looked at a few forums, and it seems that every other piece of dating advice boils down to one of two things:
- Pick up women by being a dick OR
- Pick up women with some sort of scientific strategy.
In fairness, I’m sure both of those methods have some relevance, but on the whole, they’re pretty much like a lot of other websites out there that seem to good to be true. How to make a million dollars by selling used panties, you can make yourself 4 inches taller with some simple exercises, increase your cock length by 20%, etc. It’s all a load of hokum.
How To Pick Up Women By Being A Dick
Well, we know that being a nice momma’s boy ain’t gonna cut it, and girls go for the bad boys, so let’s make a meal of that. Be more mean and moody, be less respectful to women. Don’t always show up on dates, be really arrogant and stand-offish. Tell (instead of asking) them you’re gonna take them out, insist she pays and then make your move virtually straight away, letting her know that you’re a man who gets what he wants.
Ok, that’s absolute nonsense. If you’re James Dean you can get away with that. If you’re Joe Blow aged 49 going bald with glasses and a cheap suit, it ain’t gonna work. The only people that is really gonna work for is the sort of guy who is all confidence/stupidity but he probably doesn’t need a strategy with women.
You are much better off being respectful, but direct. Friendly, but not sickly sweet. Manly, but not overpowering.
How To Use A Strategy To Pick Up Women
I couldn’t believe this crap when I first saw it. No idea where it comes from, but it’s hugely insulting, a massive waste of time and congratulations to the guy who invented it, he’ll be worth millions.
So, I’ll not name any sites, methods, etc, but here’s an example of a question asked on one of them
‘I was just really confused about a Takeaway, I feel it’s like the same thing as a Roll Off? So when I have Hooked a set, do I just leave the set and go talk to another girl? Do I ever go back to the girl?’
Ok, utter gibberish you might think, but this jargon has got thousands of people hooked and using these techniques to pick up women. It gets worse:
‘I open an HB10 and she is receptive, do I give her 3?’ ‘Yea, playful neg though, although the neg is a calibrator’
Here’s the funny thing about these stupid techniques:
They don’t work at all, but the mere effort of getting out there and trying them, with the added confidence that a ‘system’ or ‘plan’ gives you, will ensure that you meet and date more women.
The real secret of long lasting success with women, is
Be Yourself But Better
Stop being scared to approach them, don’t be a jerk and don’t try out ridiculous chat-up lines you find on the internet. Women aren’t robots that respond mechanically to pre-designed commands, nor are they objects you can classify scientifically.
Using a ‘technique’ is dishonest and not very satisfying.
Read More
