I bet you’ve wondered more than once, about how to break up with someone.
There probably is no ‘best way’ as nobody is gonna be happy at being dumped. But there are ways that inconvenience you less.
As we’ve already seen, there are clear indications of when a relationship has run its course, and in those situations, it’s definitely the best idea just to be a man and break up with her.
How to break up with someone is a skill that every lady’s man must have, if for no other reason than being able to be single at a moment’s notice when something better comes along.
So, there are many methods I’ve used in my life, but I would say that the best methods are possibly the harshest.
I will, at this stage, state that I believe that it’s ok to break up with someone for any reason whatsoever and you should feel no guilt. Everyone is a grown-up and capable of dealing with being dumped and if they’re not they shouldn’t be dating in the first place.
So, here are my methods…
How To Break Up With Someone
The One Sided Dumping
This is the one I have used to great success. It’s my favourite and I know it’s a bit mean, but I don’t make promises of a long-lasting anything to the women I will dump this way.
I have a set of things I want to achieve in any casual relationship with a woman. They’re all sex related so I won’t name them here, suffice to say, when I’ve accomplished those goals, I generally have no more need to be in a relationship with that particular woman. Generally this is anyone from a week to a couple of months down the line when I invariably get bored. With the one sided dumping technique, when I realise I’m bored, I just act as though I’m single. I don’t tell her, I just carry on as though we never met. I don’t respond to texts, emails, calls. Anything.
A lot of people are gonna say ‘oo that Casanova’s a real coward’, but no, he’s not. I don’t have to explain my actions to anyone. If a woman dumps me, which happens ALL the time, and never contacts me to tell me, I just move on. I reframe my perceptions so instead of whining like a baby, I think, ‘great, free time to do with what I wish’.
If you accept even one call or respond to one text or email, you’ll end up in a big mess, trying to explain why you don’t want to be with her any more. You don’t need that. Half the time they’re hysterical and angry and might even get violent or aggressive.
And here’s the awesome, and incredibly bizarre icing on the cake.
I’ve often met women I’ve dumped in this fashion further down the road and hardly any of them are angry with me. Sometimes I’ve even shagged them again. I guess if you’re not directly saying, ‘you’re ugly, you have bad hygiene, shit tits, crap in bed, terrible taste in music’ etc then they might not realise you don’t want to be anywhere near them and may develop a fantastical justification for your non-communication.
The Direct Approach
People who only ever have to break up with a couple of people in their lives will probably tell you that this is the fairest and kindest way of doing it. I don’t agree.
I certainly don’t like being on the receiving end of it. Having my faults dictated to me by a self-righteous ex is not my idea of a good time.
It’s simple though. You must say to the dumpee ‘we need to talk’. That’s an absolute must. Who cares if it’s a cliché, they’ll know exactly what’s gonna happen, so at least you’ve avoided the surprise freakout. Then just say, ‘look, this isn’t working. It’s not you, it’s me, I’m just not ready for a relationship like this. It’s been great and I’m sure you’ll meet someone better than me who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.’
Congratulations, you’ve hurt someone’s feelings and they’re right in front of you. And now you’ll have to go through hours of begging or recriminations or temper tantrums or any other number of negative behaviours.
The Jerk Method
Hmm, I have used this. Most of the time inadvertently.
Again it’s simple. Once you’re sick of her, act like you’re sick of her.
All the nice stuff you did for her when you were first trying to get into her panties. Stop it.
No more presents, don’t spend any money on her at all. Be selfish in bed. I’m sure you know how to do that. Wash less, demand she wear more make-up and be less accepting of her faults.
Check out other women openly. Ask her if she minds if you watch porn while you’re making love. Magazine porn. Over her face.
She won’t put up with this for too long, and the longer she does, the more of a jerk you become.
This method allows you to, rather selectively, avoid any guilt. All you’ve done is act like the jerk you really are, so whatever.
Those should cover all the ‘best’ ways of breaking up with someone. You might just say, ‘screw this’ and just send her a text message saying ‘cya bitch’ but then you should be ashamed of yourself.
Now, one thing you may not have bargained for are the feelings of guilt, loss, etc that can arise once you’ve dumped her. The best solution for that is to simply start seeing someone else, and in the meantime go out with your friends and have a ‘few’ beers.
