Why It’s A Good Thing To Be Single Over The Holidays

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One reason – Being single over the holidays means more action for you!

Just think about it…

For the average guy, Christmas and the surrounding festivities are all about presents, family and partying.  We buy our loved ones lots of lovely gifts, we spend time with our families (mom, dad, siblings etc) and go out with our buddies and celebrate another year of not being dead.

For a woman, family means husband and babies, and there’s only going to be one way she’s gonna get that.

If you’ve ever seen The Mentalist, you’ll have seen the one where he tells his colleague that you can seduce any woman with ‘love and affection’ or the promises thereof. While that’s not strictly true, he’s got a good point. What he should have said was ‘make sure you have leverage and know how to use it.’

A lonely woman is a horrible thing to waste.

Christmas and the surrounding weeks can be very lonely times for people. It’s such a family oriented time, if you don’t have the requisite family, you may feel a little disenfranchised. I’ve been alone over Christmas, living in foreign countries, and there’s only 1 solution. Hit a bar!

Bars are packed at this time of year, and little stirs the mothering instinct in a woman more than a man who is without kith and kin over the holiday period.

So. You have 2 pieces of leverage…

• She’s lonely
• She feels bad because she thinks that you are lonely

This isn’t the place to tell you how to start a conversation with a woman, that’s covered elsewhere, but we’ll assume you have the courage of a grown man and can initiate dialogue with a woman.  One of the first things you want to know is ‘what are your plans for Christmas?’  Perfectly reasonable question.  Non-threatening.  No alarm bells raised.

1. She’s spending it with friends.  Excellent.   You are much more exciting than her friends.  Make a Christmas date.
2. She’s spending it with family.  Fucksticks, but what is she doing on New Years?  If she’s spending that with family too, find another woman pronto.

Advantages of Christmas Dates…

• They’re easy to convert into ‘why don’t we go back to my place for (insert traditional Christmas food here)’
• You can get away with buying her a racy gift.  Red hold-up stockings are an excellent idea.  They’re Christmassy and they’ll leave her in no doubt as to your intentions.  Also, they’re cheap.  Don’t get carried away with spending lots of money on what may well be a short-term shagfest.
• You have the loneliness leverage, encouraging affection.
• It’s the season of generosity.

On the 23rd of December, go to your local hotspot, and get Christmas Cracking (if you don’t understand the slang, it means hit on lots of women).  The winner is the one who scores on Christmas and New Year’s Eve!

Ho Ho Ho